In a world that demands we constantly pick a side, post an opinion, or fight a battle online, what happens when we choose not to?
This piece is a personal reflection on war, identity, ego, and the difficult but liberating choice to stand in love instead of reaction. It’s about what I’ve learned, and what I believe can create lasting change.
Here are some of my thoughts on this subject …
Not because I think I’m right, but out of frustration with myself for not having the courage to say where I truly stand when people are so full of emotion and calling others to provoke their reaction.
Choosing Inner Responsibility Over Public Posturing
There are wars happening in Ukraine, in Israel, and there was one in my home country, too.
People ask where I stand. Privately I’ll share my thoughts, but publicly, I stay silent.
Not because I don’t care. I care deeply.
But because I refuse to add more noise, more ego, more division.
Silence, in my case, isn’t complicity but discernment. It’s humility.
I know the difference between using my voice to virtue signal and using it to serve.
So I turn inward. I focus on what I can influence.
Myself. My work. My home. My capacity to hold space for real change.
The Impact of War and Identity
I was raised in Montenegro, where memories of World War II were childhood stories of our grandparents.
That shaped us. Taught us to sing songs of peace and watch war movies. If you ever wonder how I got into facilitating ancestral healing, here is your answer.
Then came the Balkan War while I was a teen – another imprint, anther rupture.
It didn’t just happen in the past. It shaped our daily lives, our identities, and our futures.
I came to the U.S. not to become rich, but for the opportunity and freedom to think differently.
Being Montenegrin in Montenegro, at a time when many wanted to erase us, was complicated. We were told we didn’t exist and only recently did our language get its actual name though many of my classmates would disagree and argue that we’re all Serbs. You could often tell by someone’s last name which side they were likely on. It is that divided and yet, there is less than 1 million people in the entire country.
And Montenegro existed long before modern politics tried to redefine it. But I felt liberated to be free of the same old argument that was passed on from generation to generation.
Just last year a documentary film about Ukraine cracked something open for me.
The ache. The memory. The weight of war, what it does to people, families, culture, and spirit.
The Limits of Ego and the Power of Soul
One thing I do know, as I studied it for years, is ego.
It’s the loudest voice in every room, and the first to collapse nuance into noise.
Ego wants to win. To be right. To divide.
It thrives in argument, in projection, in righteous certainty.
And it’s why I often don’t take sides publicly, not because I have no convictions, but because I know the cost.
My commitment is love, not war.
So I channel my energy into creation, healing, and presence.
I work with people. I help them see what’s actually in the way of their experience of freedom, love, and inner peace.
And the answer is always: ego, as the filter they’ve mistaken for truth.
A Call for Integrity and Compassion
Social media has made it easy to amplify screams, judgements, and shame.
I’ve felt it, even though I mostly stay out of the spotlight.
What I realized is:
Everyone is doing the best they can with the level of awareness they currently have.
Sometimes their words are a gift. Sometimes, a wound.
Either way, it’s theirs to own, not mine to fix.
What I do own is my garden.
My home. My art. My music. My children’s laughter.
The relationships I cherish and protect above all else.
Yes, my ego wants more fame, platform, applause.
But my soul? It’s deeply content with connection, beauty and truth.
Where to Stand
I’m grateful to those who fought for the freedoms I now enjoy.
I don’t take any of it for granted.
And I believe it’s our turn to stand for something meaningful, without making others wrong for standing somewhere else.
Shame is not leadership.
Silencing others isn’t liberation.
None of us are free if we only tolerate those who agree with us.
Life is short.
So many never even get the chance to live, let alone thrive.
So if we’re lucky enough to be here – we have work to do.
That work starts within.
To face our own suffering. To create something meaningful.
And to let others do the same.
In Essence
This is a declaration of sovereignty, of choosing love over noise, and depth over performance.
A reminder that staying silent isn’t always ignorance; sometimes it’s integrity.
Because the moment you think you have more right than someone else, or that someone else has less, you’ve entered the world of ego.
And ego is ego is ego is ego—no one wins there.
So the only thing to do is return to your soul.
To your heart.
To your innate ability to love, to create, and to live from there.
