The World is Changing. And So Are We
As I stand at the intersection of identity, legacy, and longing, I find myself reflecting on a feeling that’s hard to name. I feel neither fully here nor there, yet deeply rooted in my devotion: to my children, my art, and the soul work I’ve cultivated over time.
There’s a powerful contradiction I’m learning to hold:
I don’t quite belong in the country I live in… and I no longer fully belong in the country where I was born.
I was born in Montenegro when Montenegro was still a part of Yugoslavia. I was too young to understand the political unraveling, and moving to America felt like a welcome escape. For a long time, I carried a nostalgia for my homeland. It gave me strength to survive here, knowing I had a “backup home” in my heart.
But over time, that shifted. My mother moved here. My grandmother passed away. The tether loosened. The sense of home I carried started to fade.
Now, I find myself at middle age, married for well over a decade, raising kids who are on the edge of becoming teenagers, navigating a world that feels less and less grounded. I look at the political climate in the U.S. and feel deeply confronted. I wonder: If I made more money, would I finally feel like I had a seat at the table?
When I see my children, needing my presence, and my work, which continues to evolve, I feel the pull of something deeper.
Sometimes, it all just honestly feels too much. The children ask for things I never had. I’m not resourced the way my family was when I was a child. And still, in the middle of it all, something quietly, persistently calls me…
To music.
To film.
To art.
To storytelling.
To CREATING.
My soul longs to express itself in this life time. Not instead of doing work, but alongside it. Because the work I do helps people clear the internal clutter that stands in the way of their dreams. And that matters.
I don’t run a flashy empire. I lead a small, committed group of people into a new culture, one where we don’t follow templates, but live from truth, create from depth, and express without apology.
So I create.
Between parenting and laundry, between newsletters and choir rehearsals, between quiet tears and sacred joys, I create.
And I feel deep gratitude for having been born, for still being here, for not giving up.
Life is not perfect. I am not perfect.
My emotional intensity is beyond.
But I do my part. I take care of my body. I walk. I fast. I eat well. I meditate.
And then I create, I contribute, and I keep going.
I used to think I’d grow up and become someone important.
Sometimes that nudge is still there, but it’s unclear.
And, despite the absence of “outward success,” measured in followers, clients, or money…
My soul is expressing itself.
Limitlessly.
If you find yourself standing in a similar in-between space, grappling with belonging, with the tension between responsibility and longing, with the ache to create something true, you’re not alone.
If you want to connect and share, I invite you to reach out.
We don’t have to walk our creative paths in silence.
Have a great weekend, and Happy Memorial Day to my fellow Americans.
With love,
Marija
