It’s All Temporary
Dear Friends and Creators,
The concept of impermanence is not new to me. I can still hear the voice of Vipassana meditation teacher Goenka saying, “anicca, anicca”(impermanence), encouraging his students to stay non-reactive to both pleasure and pain in order to clear sankaras of the past.
It’s one thing to understand that nothing lasts forever; it’s another to experience the end of a cycle.
In Montenegro, when someone passes, people say, “So long as it’s in order,” meaning that as long as it is children burying their parents, the grief and sadness are expected. That said, no one truly prepares us for it. From a young age, I had an intense relationship with endings. What I learned was not to suppress the avalanche of emotions but to create space for myself to grieve.
The Power of Completion
When I coach people around my age who have aging parents, I encourage them to create completion. My dad was only 61 when he suddenly had a stroke, and despite my wrenching pain, I knew I had left nothing unsaid.
In the end, that’s all we can hope for—that we have expressed our love, our commitment, and even our disbelief. There are many stories out there, and not all of them are happy.
Finding Light in Unexpected Places
Since I love consulting the stars, I expected this winter to be intense, and I can say—it didn’t disappoint. We navigated things at home that could have filled even the biggest of plates. But in the midst of all that intensity, there was light, and I want to acknowledge it:
A close friend, who also experienced a huge loss (one that is hers to share, not mine), introduced me to a young woman who had come to New York to check off her bucket list dream of living here.
We knew from the start that it was temporary. But having someone come for a few hours every week to support our family turned out to be the most beautiful contribution we could have asked for. I am still in awe that we were able to manifest something like this—a wonderful young woman who spoke French with our kids, helped with whatever was needed, and was deeply grateful for the opportunity to be of service.
The Beauty of Human Connection
It blows my mind that things like this are possible—that when we are in a state of non-resistance, the most remarkable things happen. Those of you who know me intimately know that my husband and I both work very hard, that our children require a lot of our mental, emotional, and physical energy, and that receiving support—any form of it—is part of the village it takes to raise a family.
What I am especially in awe of is the fact that there are people who walk among us who are so of service—people who, while nourishing their own dreams and going on their own adventures, are also present with others, offering their energy, kindness, and humility.
It reminded me of my first years here—getting through college and grad school, sustained by the kindness of people who allowed me to do the same for them. Life happens like that—a person looking for someone meets another person looking for someone. This is why it’s so important to express who we are, what matters to us, and to allow ourselves to connect with others, heart to heart.
Coming Full Circle
Tonight, as I finished my calls for the day—on a Monday no less, after a so-called “vacation” week (which is never actually a vacation for parents)—I found myself reflecting on the last two months with this beautiful young woman, L.
She came into our home, helped the kids organize their drawers, cleaned up, made dinner, did laundry, and sat at the dinner table with us because she was part of our family.
I celebrate the connections I get to have with people in my life. I cried so much as I read L’s goodbye letter, realizing that sadness and grief are the price we pay for love and appreciation—for the people who touch us so deeply.
Many years ago, when I worked as a nanny, I wasn’t treated as someone beneath my employers. I was treated with respect and kindness. And today, I had the privilege of doing the same for someone else—coming full circle.
In the craziness of the world we live in, cherish the people who provide a deep level of care, presence, and connection—the kind that can melt even the coldest of hearts.
Who in your life do you cherish deeply? Can you do something extra today—not just tell them, but show them—so they truly feel your appreciation, acknowledgment, and love?
